“I Won’t Back Down” – Tom Petty

I’m gonna need you to stop and listen to this miracle story. Really listen. This song is the rhythmic witness to growth. Of course it comes from a great. Tom is on the sacred middle of musical life. In all the people with all of the preferences, I have rarely met someone who does not have at least a baseline appreciation for Mr. Petty. How could you not? He’s one of the greats. He is a teacher. He is also a musical mystic, so I just want to hang in his presence. It’s rich.

As I finished the list of songs for the week of curiosity, this one just kept hanging around the edges. And I didn’t shoo it away, but I tried to make it fit in self-love and it just didn’t. There are a few songs from Tom that have held me on this journey. “Free Fallin’” will never be played without the world seeing the strain of my attempt to sing like Tom. Add in “Wildflowers” and you get the impact of hurt and heart swoon. He is a good, good life witness. All of that to say, Tom earned the spot on the top 29, but it wasn’t until I made peace with my outline for curiosity week that I understood why.

I don’t need an attack anthem today.

While the joy of the walk out song is so fun, this is the kind of song that curiosity has assured me is truth. As I thought about all of the many gifts of my curious wanderings, I have been assured that I’m strong. I’m here. I don’t have to defend my ground. I can stand right on the whole of this story and own it. I’ve lived it. I can have a great steady bass line and a lead guitar like no other. I don’t NEED a full dance squad or even a flame throwing stage show today. (But they are there if I want them.) It’s my choice how I stand my ground today.

The version of Lacy that is 2022 has all of the bigness of the musical dramatics. But it also has a wise, old-soul feel of Tom and others like him that are just as happy sitting by a fire and settling in for the stories of truth. Like the times when I don’t have to yell it, I just know it.

I have the most steady determination to live these words. Like something I have never known. I have a willingness to stay out of the fight today because I know I don’t have to defend at every turn. It just is. In some ways, this side of me is scarier for those around me. It’s a very weird…peace? It’s almost like these words are the motivation and the backbone. So…

I won’t back down.

This is another ACL moment. I take pictures to remember feelings as a part of my reclamation. At this exact moment I was done. I was sitting alone trying to find some space. I’ve learned I can do that today. I get to be P!nk AND Tom. It all fits in Lacy.
And I won’t back down.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s